Kissing Sherlock
by janie17
Summary: John and Sherlock try to navigate their relationship, focuses around five times they kissed, asexual!Sherlock, one-shot, T because I'm paranoid and I suppose the subject could be considered a little heavy.


A/n: This demanded to be written while I was working on my last story, so here it is! Also, a big thank you to the guest reviewer **Ace Auntie** for her wonderful comments and the suggestion that John look up the AVEN website, I was way ahead of you with that one as I already had that part written out when you said it! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the show Sherlock or the characters in it.

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The first time they kissed was a major first for a few things. Aside from being the first time in which John and Sherlock kissed, it was the first time John kissed a man. But most importantly it was the first time Sherlock had ever been kissed by someone very decidedly not a relative, and even that had been over a decade ago. So with these three things taken into account, John was not in the least bit surprised that it was a very short, hesitant encounter. He was surprised, however, at the frown that quickly flitted across Sherlock's face before it was covered by a well-practiced, neutral expression.

The second time they kissed was nearly a week later and only happened because John was able to catch Sherlock off guard for once. Several days' worth of cuddling on the couch, some hand-holding and irritatingly timed distractions had John extremely frustrated. When he had asked about the nature of their relationship, Sherlock had fought a blush and assured him that the romantically oriented feelings were not at all one sided and that he was very agreeable to referring to them as a couple. It wasn't like it was that far of a step away from their previous barely platonic relationship. When John was finally able to kiss his recently-titled boyfriend again, it was just as hesitant as their first, on Sherlock's part.

"Sherlock," John asked the taller man, "What's wrong?" The dark haired man tried to brush the question aside, citing some experiment as the excuse he couldn't discuss anything further at the moment. His effort to flee the room was stopped by a hand on his elbow. With a few cutting remarks that he hadn't truly meant, he tugged himself free, finally able to flee to the safety of his bedroom.

The third time they kissed it was salty. After Sherlock had slammed his bedroom door, John had just stood quietly in the kitchen. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened, only knowing that something more than his 'blatant disregard,' as Sherlock had stated venomously, for science, had upset the other man, and that it had something to do with the physicality of their relationship. He rapped sharply on the door to the down stairs bedroom. "Let me in, Sherlock. I'm not mad, we just need to talk." He heard the sound of clothes rustling, a muffled thunk. "Go away." John grabbed the door handle, rattling it slightly, pleased to find it wasn't locked. "Nope, I'm coming in."

Sherlock shouted, making a big show out of trying to distract from the matter at hand. John waited calmly as the steam ran out and his love's tirade came to an end, and he dropped down onto the bed with a sigh. He sat down next to Sherlock, taking his hand into his own. He was able to coax out of the detective why he was so upset. Sherlock haltingly explained the lack of positive feelings he had received from their kiss. With a sniffle he asked, "Would you leave if I do not receive pleasure from physical intimacy? Not even from a kiss?" A lone tear escaped, refusing to be blinked away, and rolled down his cheek.

"Of course not." John kissed away the tear, feeling Sherlock tremble beneath him. The older man suggested making an experiment out of discovering if he could take a sense of pleasure from kissing, unlike the first two times. He explained that they would share a proper kiss, not like the other two, and, with fair warning, placed one hand on the younger man's hip and one on his face, thumb brushing his cheekbone and said, "I'm going to kiss you now."

There was a gentle coaxing from one set of lips to convince the other to move, a hand slipping down to a hip, drawing them closer. A tentative tongue was quickly withdrawn at the taste of the tear drop that had been brushed away. An experienced tongue traced teeth and the inside of cheeks, trying to bring the other back into play. Sherlock's breath stuttered as they pulled away, foreheads resting together. "How was that?" A murmured apology and a sad look told John all that he needed to know before drawing the other man into a hug. The next day, Sherlock discovered John's laptop sitting conspicuously open with a website dedicated to asexuality pulled up. He read the page before moving on to FAQ's and the discussion forum.

John insisted on talking about it. Sherlock did everything in his power to avoid what he knew would be a terribly awkward conversation. He uncharacteristically blushed and stammered when confirming the older man's suspicions before wondering aloud what the term would be for one who was previously aromantic until one important person was inserted into their life. "That's called love, Sherlock." The detective's dark eyebrows furrowed as he said seriously, "Then I guess I love you, John." The blond man chuckled, pulling the standing man down to sit with him in the arm chair. "I know." He buried his face into his long neck, breathing deep. "I love you too."

Their fourth kiss was a dare almost a year later. Friends and colleagues had been informed of their step from friends to romantic partners and had witnessed small displays of affection. A stroke of the cheek, a hand at the small of the others back, a hug after a particularly rough crime scene. Sally Donovan pointed out that they had yet to see them kiss after so long together, telling them to get on with it and give a little show. Anderson sneered, Sherlock sent a panicked look at his love, and DI Lestrade muttered along the lines of "she's got a point" and "entirely up to you however."

A cocked blond eyebrow and the minute nod of a head of curls; a full conversation held with just two gestures before lips briefly but firmly met. The astonished looks along with Donovan's, "Blimey, I didn't think the Freak had it in him," made the experience entirely worth it to Sherlock, his coat swirling after him as he departed. John followed after giving a quick shrug and a "later officers." As well as being their first intentional public act of intimacy—anyone could see their emotional ties with just a glance, even before they, themselves, had acknowledged it—it was the first time in which it could not be said with total confidence that John had leaned in first, leading the kiss. The act was entirely mutual, almost perfect in its timing by the pair of them, appearing to be a kiss between two people very much in sync who had much practice. This fact did not go unnoticed or uncommented on by John; however unobservant Sherlock felt he often was.

As well as being their first intentional public act of intimacy—anyone could see their emotional ties at a glance, even before they, themselves, had acknowledged it—it was the first time in which it could not be said with total confidence that John had leaned in first, leading the kiss. The act was entirely mutual, almost perfect in timing by the pair of them, appearing to be a kiss between two people very much in sync who had much practice; a fact that did not go unnoticed or uncommented on by John, however unobservant Sherlock felt he often was.

Their fifth kiss was special in that it was also their last. Nearly a month passed before Sherlock allowed John to discuss the "incident at the Yard," as the doctor called it. The main points that John took from the discussion was: one, it was not wishful thinking, Sherlock really had a part in initiating the kiss; two, it was not as unstimulating as the others; and three, the dark haired man was too nervous to try anything of his own accord but had spent the past few weeks thinking about it. He asked Sherlock to explain his nerves and was met with silence before the younger man was springing up asking if he wanted tea, because didn't a cup of tea sound lovely right then? It was two cups and an awkward silence later that he finally got Sherlock to explain.

Sherlock said how he wasn't sure any more of how he felt about physical intimacy. He was nervous to try anything only to end up disappointed in his body's reaction, but more than that, scared of not trying and regretting the decision later. John reassured him that no matter what he decided to do—or not do—it would all work out because he loved him. Sherlock's breath stuttered, he looked down at his toes. "What if I would like to kiss you again sometime?" he asked hesitantly. "Then do it. Make it a surprise so that I won't be expecting it and there is less pressure on you."

Sherlock did just that. A discarded attempt at a blog entry, a deep breath, and a determined stride. He pulled John up from his armchair and planted one on him two days later. The kiss lasted long enough for John to get over his shock at the suddenness of it all, but not long enough to leave him panting when Sherlock pulled back. "So—" he started, only to be cut off with a wave of the tall man's hand before he sank into the couch to wander his mind palace. He emerged an hour later at tea was placed on the table beside him.

"My initial dislike of kissing remains," he said clinically. "It was merely the thrill of upsetting those Yarders of lesser intelligence that I was responding to last time. I hope this does not upset you." He scowled as the older man chuckled. John assured him that he was in no way upset, apologising for his laughter. "Only you could say something like that with no hint of emotion," he said fondly, running a hand through the detective's hair.

There was no sixth kiss. There was no further exploration of sexuality. No shared beds or open bathroom doors. No sweaty encounters that didn't involve chasing a criminal across London in the summer heat, and no awkward intrusions causing Mrs Hudson to squeal in shock at the sight in front of her as long as Sherlock hadn't left body parts lying about the kitchen. But there was love and happiness and that seemed to be enough for the both of them.

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A/n: To view the website John left open for Sherlock, go to www dot asexuality dot org. It is the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. I encourage you to read the information provided therein.


End file.
